Style/substance/snot

Perhaps I should have titled this post after a lyric from a particular Doug Anthony All Stars song, which goes:

Girls are weird... yeah

See, I learned last night that when you buy tissues (that's right... those flimsy bits of paper product you use to... what's the word... expectorate, only from the nose) ...anyway, when you buy tissues, apparently, if you're a girl, the design on the box is just as important as the fact that the box actually contains tissues. The fact that you have enough paper product at hand to collect whatever mucosal discharge warrants the purchase of said tissues is ancillary to the need for the design on the box to be aesthetically pleasing. Sure, while you may now be able to breathe again, having just cleared your sinuses of whatever phlegmy sputum was inhibiting your respiration, you won't truly feel better unless the blue on the box of tissues complements that of the walls, or the curtains, and that there are images of starfish and seashells to remind you how great a dip in the ocean can be for clearing out whatever is lodged in your nostrils or throat. So I just want to say to girls everywhere, I know this now. I don't understand it but I know and I'll try harder next time I have to buy tissues and am tempted to bring home a badly designed box of 228 tissues for only $1.48, which is such a fucking bargain it's unbelievable.